'twenty-something'

A little wrap up

2010-11-05T12:17:00.000-04:00

So, back to blogging.

I know I won't be able to catch you up on everything that's going on but I wanted to share a few posts with you.
- Haiti Trip recap
- Sensational Single
- My beloved Grandmother
- October Wrap Up

Overall, it's been quite a whirlwind, but I'm doing good. I have much to be thankful for and my relationship with the Lord, is just really great. Just thinking about his love gives me genuine joy and peace. I've also got another trip coming up, but I will give you more details on that, the closer we get.
Until next time....

October Wrap Up

2010-11-05T12:09:00.000-04:00

-Turned 26!
-Surprised my little sisters at school by having lunch with them
-Had a spectacular time with my family the Sunday before my birthday
-Got a surprise gift. New Michael Kors bag. ( I literally ran around the house shouting Hallelujah!)

-Ran the Wicked 10k on October 30th.
-Ran the WHOLE thing, at a slow pace but still!

-Carved my first pumkin! ( I think I did it when I was like 5 but i don't really remember it)

-Indulged in smores

-Had an unforunate, how shall we say....falling out? with a guy I was dating. It's a long story, but overall I am MUCH happier. (Actually that was September but whatev.)

-October was a pretty great month!

My Beloved Grandmother

2010-11-05T11:51:00.002-04:00

Eula Mae Mischer, wife of the late Irvin Mischer Sr., daughter of the late Rosie Lee Miles, and the late Edward Robinson, was born on September 17, 1928. She was one of eight children.

She accepted Christ at an early age at Isabella Baptist Church in Tyler, Alabama and moved to Cleveland, Ohio from Tyler in 1950. She met Irvin Mischer Sr., and on May 3, 1952 they were married. Over their thirty seven years of marriage they created a home in Cleveland for their eight children.

Eula enjoyed staying active by working for over twenty years at Brown & Gage Inc. as an assembly line worker. You could often find her with a crossword, word search or Sudoku puzzle book in her hands. She enjoyed games of chance and traveled as far as Spain and The Bahamas.

She was an excellent cook and started family traditions of having your choice for breakfast on Christmas morning, including ice cream or coconut cake and often made Mickey Mouse pancakes for her grandchildren.

She leaves to cherish her memory a loving and devoted family, eight children, nine grandchildren, four great grandchildren, two brothers, one sister and a host of nieces and nephews and other relatives and friends.

Eula was a faithful member of Harvest Missionary Baptist Church in Cleveland, Ohio.

My Aunt, Grandmother, Mom and be back in 2005. I wrote and read my grandmother's obitiuary at her funeral. What an amazing and proud moment.

Sensational Single

2010-11-05T11:41:00.000-04:00

So, before I went to Haiti, I had nominated myself to be a sensational single of Hampton Roads. It was just for fun, no big deal. I was sensational and not dating anyone seriously. Until I got back from Haiti and I was a finalist...say what?!

So, after another round of questions it became official, I was one of the top twenty 'Sensational Singles' of Hampton Roads! There were outfits to be picked out and photo shoots to be had. The photo shoot was a lot of fun and we all had a great time.

And then...I got the magazine. I wasn't thrilled about my group shot pic because you can't even really see my face, but my individual pic was super cute.

Every time I think about it, I can't help but laugh. I guess I can cross it off my bucket list.
~~Be a feature in a magazine.~~

But, really it was a great time and I'm glad I had a chance to be involved. (As an update I did cut my hair as you can see, but I thinking about going even shorter!)

There was however, part of the magazine that wasn't as glamarous though. We had to be auctioned off for charity. I wasn't too thrilled about the idea, but I went with it anyway. The night of the auction, the weather was terrible! Schools were closing, people were getting off of work early, it was pretty bad. But, they decided to host the event anyway.
So, there were about 30 people there and most of them were women. So, while the guys were going for like $100, $150 even $200 the ladies were going for like $30, $45, $70. I personally went for $40....to my brother! He was trying to drive up the bids and ended up getting stuck with me! It's a good thing I didn't take the whole thing too seriously or else my ego would have seriously been bruised.

All, in all a great experience. You can read my interview here if you like.

Haiti Trip Recap

2010-11-05T11:02:00.001-04:00

So, I'll just hop right back into the swing of things.
I wish I had the dedication it takes to post consistently, but well, I'm working on it.

I realize that I won't be able to catalog everything that has happened within the last few months but I will give you the highlights..

Haiti Trip. These pictures will never fully give you the insight to what it was like being there. Not until you've sat in the back of a truck, with the sun blazing on shoulders, used bug repellent instead of perfume everyday, been kissed on both cheeks by orphans excited to see your face again, have had little boys swarm you begging for money, and eaten baked fish with the heads still on them outside in the pouring rain, then well, You haven't been to Haiti.

still working...

2010-08-11T09:12:00.003-04:00

So, the other day I happened to stumble across a binder filled with notes, story ideas, design ideas and the like on what I had originally envisioned 'twenty-something' to be all about.

This binder was from 2007 and while I was ecstatic to realize that this has been on mind for three years now, I was a bit disheartened at the progress that I had made in three years. It's always easy to look back think, "Oh I should have, could have done this, or "Oh, I should be much farther along..." and maybe I should. But perhaps for now, with where I am, I can just be content that,

"I'm still working on it."

I'm back...

2010-08-09T14:29:00.000-04:00

In more ways than one.

Haiti was without a doubt one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I will share so much more with you as soon as I can put down all of my notes, scratches of paper and things that I learned into a cohesive post. But for the time being I will leave you with this beautiful picture of my friend Yolanda. She was the loveliest little girl, but she never smiled... and it broke my heart.

I am determined to never forget the faces, the feelings and the little moments of the time that I spent in Haiti.

the weekend briefly and trip news...

2010-06-28T10:32:00.001-04:00

...if it weren't so sad, it would be funny. My love life that is! Oh, I won't be too hard on myself, but geez. Ok- no more complaining, whiners are weiners.

On to the next.

the weekend went by very quickly. I worked both Friday and Saturday so come Sunday morning I was exhausted, but had a wonderful time meeting up with friends at a Tapas Party. Lots of yummy food and sangria to go around. Then we went down to Ocean View Park and had fun dancing to Big Band music.

{not the exact location, but it looks pretty similiar. Via Hither and Thither}

Getting both excited and super nervous about this trip to Haiti. I had a mini melt-down yesterday about the trip. We had a meeting to go over everything and my trip leader, bless his heart, I know he's not trying to scare us but....it's just so much to take in. I know that it's something that I have to do, so I'm beginning deep prayer over the next month. I'm going to see a lot of things that I have never seen before. And I'm sure my heart will break time and time again. But, I have to go. I have to show them love and help those who desperately need it. I have to.

because sometimes Friday's are crazy

2010-06-25T17:24:00.000-04:00

Today has been insane. No, really.
I could never be in IT because when things are working well everyone loves you. Take for instance the IT guy at my job.

On most days, he happily sits at his desk, "researching" ya know, computer things. But today....oh today.
He was pulled in every which direction by people freaking out and cursing over the fact that there email was down. (I happened to be one of them. But no cursing was said...not out loud at least.)

IT is a dangerous profession. I don't have the guts, nor the ability to stare at a computer screen all day. So, as much as I would like to go home and relax with a heavy pour glass of Riesling, I have to take my butt to my other job. Le sigh.

I'm trying to suck it up though because it's because of this other job that I will be able to save enough money to go to England for Thanksgiving. So to sum it all up I must:

"Decide what I want, figure out how to get it, and know what I'm willing to sacrifice to have it."

{Huong Nguyen Fralin}

And traveling is what I want.

blog love

2010-06-24T15:41:00.000-04:00

the lovely couple of Hither & Thither are spell bounding. this blog makes me want to...
-pack my bags
-move to New York
-And travel forever

Lovely.

writing stairs....

2010-06-24T10:04:00.001-04:00

so last night I had my fiction workshop class. The last time I submitted something, um it didn't go so well. I sulked to my car and stayed up late in a sea of papers with red marks all over them.
When my friend D. came over he was like,

"Um, what are you doing?"
"Wallowing in my terrible skills as a writer. My career is over as I know it!"
"Ok, want to go to Wendy's?"
{Nothing like a supportive friend who doesn't play into my dramatic tendencies.}

{Writing is like a winding staircase, no? Huong Nguyen Fralin.}

needless to say last night I wasn't super jazzed about going. I had totally rushed my last submission and quickly re-worked something that I had written in the past.

And they loved it....................

They LOVED it!

I made them laugh, I made them relate to my character. One woman even went as far to say that she could see the movie! Seriously? Um, OK!

There's nothing like a little bit of encouragement to really get you feeling like you can do and be anything. Last night I kept dreaming of re-writes and edits and even randomly emailed my professor at 12:34am to ask about Point of View. It felt so great....

travel

2010-06-23T17:19:00.000-04:00

So, I'm getting super excited about my upcoming trip. I held a fundraiser at work today and raised $123! How amazing. Seriously, a few months ago I would have thought that something like this would have been impossible. I felt totally stuck in Virginia.

{fantastic photos from super talented Huong Nguyen Fralin}

But now, this is making me see that God has amazing plans for me. And I can't wait to uncover them all....

hair today...hair tomorrow

2010-06-18T10:38:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty sure, but I think I want short hair. (Isn't it funny how changing the length of ones hair can be such an emotional decision?) I'm trying to reassure myself that if I don't like it then my hair WILL grow back. But who knows when I will do this, my weeks are scheduled to the max. But when I do, I think I want to go for something like this....

whatcha think?

I currently have long wavy braids. I have been wearing this style for two years and I am over it. Plus, I want to feel that I can be confident, sexy and attractive without wearing someone else's hair with braids, weaves or extensions. (The joys of black hair.) Anyway, I really love this look and I think I would be able to rock it even though my face is rounder than Rhianna's. Now, I just need to find someone I trust enough to do this...

Haiti

2010-06-17T12:28:00.000-04:00

I'm going to Haiti July 27- August 3 on a missions trip. I am excited. I am scared. I am hoping to leave changed.

Farigrounds...

2010-06-16T13:19:00.000-04:00

well hello there, friend.

-Yesterday I went to Elliot's Fairgrounds Coffee in Norfolk after work.
-Had a wonderful time writing
-Observing others
-Sipping iced coffee
-And being creative.

Perfection.

another mini update

2010-06-15T12:34:00.001-04:00

why do I always do this? blog consistently for a couple of months and then just stop because i feel like i have nothing to say?
it's so lame.
anyway, another mini-update:

-Getting excited and nervous about trip to Haiti
-Thanks to a very generous donation I now only need $500 to go
-I still like the divorced guy
-I am going to England and France in November
-(Please don't feel like I have all this money to travel and that I'm well off.... I'm not. Just super blessed)
-Realizing how super blessed I am every day
-Meeting lots of people
-Went surfing for the first time on Saturday
-Got up on the board a couple of times
-Took a 1/2 day yesterday due to a serious stomach ache
-Want to go to get wings and a beer for lunch today
-Volunteered at the local Public Broadcasting station and was on TV for out 10 seconds
-Realized that 25 has been kinda tough on me mentally. Feeling as if I "should" have more things figured out
-Still learning to relax
-Going to shop at the Victoria Secret Semi-Annual Sale and stock up on panties
-Two free lancing articles due at the end of the month
-One due today!
-Taking a fiction workshop class, and reading, reading, reading

And that's that! Perhaps this how I'm going to blog from now on. Short lists of what I'm doing, maybe questions I have about life... but who knows I may change my mind...
And that's allowed.

getting back the spark...

2010-06-04T10:05:00.002-04:00

{photo by Max Wagner}

It's been a weird two weeks. A few things to catch you up on...

-I'm going to Haiti in July for my first missions trip
-I'm crushing on a guy who is in the middle of a divorce
-I think it's time for me to live by myself
-I covet... a lot -I skipped out on my quite time this week, and could totally feel it
-Realized that I'm super shy when I first get to know people...I hate that
-I started cooking more often and lost a few pounds
-I used the money that I was saving to sign up for my 1/2 marathon to go shoe shopping
-I'm a little more motivated at work
-I saw the movie Food Inc, and then went to Taco Bell two days later
-I've been networking my little butt off
-Went to the beach on memorial day... hoping to go again this weekend
-I still really hope that come December there will be a big change
-I saw my therapist for the first time in 7 years
-I'm going to start seeing her way more often
-I need to relax
-I want to go on vacation
-I've always been a writer

And that's that. Regular posting to begin next week.... for real!

because..... well, because

2010-05-20T09:15:00.000-04:00

It's already Thursday and I haven't posted anything. Sad but true. This week has been super jam packed and busy and the weekend, although it is insight, will hardly be relaxing which I have to admit is my fault. Anyway, instead of wracking my brain and trying to catch you all up on things, I will leave you with this beautiful pic and will be back to regular posting next week. Until then.... xoxoxo

{photo found here}

a goal or two

2010-05-13T16:52:00.000-04:00

{I'll explain this lovely meal....}

so, here its and practically the middle of May. Um, 2010 I love you but you need to slow down. I'm lady, take your time.

I've never been a huge resolution person but I have always been a fan of setting realistic goals. Yesterday, I came face to face with the fact that I had yet to establish some goals for 2010. {No, wonder it seems like the year is flying by. I had nothing to measure my successes!}

Anyway, I wrote out a list of goals last night. I'll spare you the entire thing but here are a few biggies:
-Continue to grow spiritually.I'm a on a spiritual high and totally don't want to my enthusiasm and love for God fade.

-Run the Rock 'n' Roll Half marathon (September) This will be my second 1/2 marathon. And honestly I used to be an avid runner and totally proud of that, but um, I got lazy.

-Reach my weight loss goals, and stay there. Now I know everyone always says crap like this all the time. I am at a point where I have maintained a 20 pound weight loss for about a year and a half. ( I used to be super chubby!) But now, I'm ready to take it to the next level. I want to really think about the foods that I'm eating and not just hit up the drive thru all the time. Christina over at A Lovely Morning, geez I so want to be like her! She makes delicious food all the time, see top pic, and is so health conscious. I mean this lady cracked open coconuts while she was in LABOR as it's known to be nature's gatorade. Um, yeah. Hopefully I can be at that level one day.

So, they always say that there has to be a rewards system for things like this. Well, mine is pretty dope.
For every pound I lose I will give myself $20 to put towards the purchase of...

A Diane Von Furstenberg dress. Yes, I will only buy this dress once I have hit my goal weight and am a solid size 8.

Secondly, because I love shopping sooo much, I am considering* allowing myself to purchase a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes for my birthday.Yes, Christian Louboutin. Yes, I know it's a total splurge but I would really like them and a girl needs a little inspiration. Plus, my birthday isn't until October. So, it's not that bad right?

Anyway, this post is already long enough, but I will be happy to share my other goals with you tomorrow. Until then, xoxo

what I'm willing to do for a cupcake

2010-05-12T10:33:00.003-04:00

I have seriously been craving a delicious cupcake for two weeks. TWO WEEKS. I know I could go to the store and make them but it wouldn't be the same. I need a serious cupcake and the only ones that come to mind that will do for a craving like this, are the cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery in NY. And, I am seriously, SERIOUSLY considering going to NY for the weekend just to get one.

All I have to do is hop on the Chinatown bus on Friday at midnight and I would be in NY by 7am the next morning. I could have brunch with my aunt, wander around the city all afternoon and stand in line outside of the Greenwhich village bakery. (There's always a line.) I would savor that cupcake and honestly, I would have more than one I'm sure.

Saturday night, I could meet up with some friends, go dancing and enjoy NY pizza at 4am and Sunday, I would sleep in, stop by Central Park, grab a bagel and head back to Chinatown to catch my bus back to VA by 5pm. I could sooo do this...

brunch

2010-05-10T14:51:00.001-04:00

i seriously need to get a real camera instead of using my iphone, but alas it is all that I have for now. can't wait to host another soiree to really start creating more flower arrangements and decor.

{flowers and spread from brunch Saturday morning}

weekend musings

2010-05-10T14:42:00.001-04:00

Happy Monday! I've been a little under the weather here lately with sinus and allergies issues, but I'm starting to feel better. (even though as I type this I just got back from lunch at work and all I want to do is go home and curl up in my cloud of a bed.) shhh, don't tell.

{flowers from brunch Saturday morning}

Weekend was nice albeit extremely busy for a sick lady...
-Iron Man 2 with E. (the first one was better)
-Lia Sophia jewelry party at my house Saturday morning
-Wedding at the Chrysler Saturday night
-Nursery duty at church with the 3 year olds (they were so awesome)
-Great church service with mom and brother visiting
-Mother's Day dinner and Scattergories at the parents house
-burgers and guac at a friends
-finally a warm cozy bed

Nothing excited planned for tonight but laundry, dinner and movie and bed. Can't wait to start feeling better...

rage against the norms...

2010-05-05T12:36:00.000-04:00

{photo found here}

At least that's how I've been feeling over the past couple of days. I'm working on a free lance piece for Christian Women's Connection and hopefully some other publications, and it has really got me thinking about the way I think. Especially when it comes to men. Geez. At times I feel like i have messed that area up so much, and even though I know I'm forgiven... it still kinda sucks and I need my Father's mercy and grace more and more.
I know I'm coming out of left field with this today, but I'm kinda on fire.

I've been forced to stop and think about what it is that I really want in life and if I'm really working towards them. I can say all day that I want to buy a house, but if I never start saving then how is that dream going to become a reality?

If I say that I want to marry a good Christian man, then don't I have to be a good Christian woman... um hello?

I will totally be expanding on this in the weeks to come but I just had to get out some of my thoughts on this now.

Whew! Get ready ladies, it's happening!

becuase he's my brother

2010-05-03T12:49:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was my brother's birthday. He turned 29. We got into a huge fight.

It was really quite dramatic and now that I am sitting here thinking about it, it was all just a misunderstanding. I'm sensitive and my brother's a Taurus, bull headed to say the least....

We fight. Once we were fighting, on the way to church no less, so bad that my mom, kicked us out of the car and made us walk the rest of the way there. And let me tell you, that church wasn't in the best neighborhood either. Luckily another member found as walking along the side of the road and had mercy on us.

Even though he knows how to push every single one of my buttons, he's still my brother. And even though I get mad at him and want to cuss him out, he's still my brother. And even though, I think he's stubborn, he's still my brother.

James, thanks for being such a good brother. I love you. Happy Birthday.

encouragement

2010-04-29T11:43:00.002-04:00

yesterday after work, after my crazy moodiness, and foul attitude, i went to Walgreens and bought this...

the cashier was an older gentleman and asked if I wanted to add a brownie to that.
"Sir, I'm already doing enough damage here don't you think?"
"What do you mean? How much do you weigh, 110?"

God Bless that man.
**UPDATE**
I didn't eat all of that ice cream by myself. I gave the Caramel Macchiato to my co-worker. The Java Chip was awesome though!

sometimes all you need is a little fashion inspiration

2010-04-28T17:27:00.000-04:00

this is how I want to dress all summer long. Thank you Fuji Files for the inspiration...

via coco kelley...

beat up

2010-04-28T12:36:00.001-04:00

talk about 'woke up on the wrong side of the bed'. blaaaaaahhhhh! I just hate it when I have days like these, especially after I was standing on such solid ground yesterday. I was inspired and excited and then today I'm all.. 'um, Leave me alone.'

Geez, Christians are weird.

So what's bugging me? Well, I'm not going to go into all the details just yet. Don't worry I stayed up late last night writing an article on exactly what I was feeling for:

A. Clarity
B. To talk to God
C. To purely vent

Once, I go back and edit all of those outraged and unruly feelings with a clearer mind, I will be happy to share. Now, what was I saying?

Oh, right about being pissed off... I'm so trying to suck it up for the rest of the day but come 5:30 all I'm gonna want is a RedBox Movie, some McDonalds and my bed. (Sad but true.) I hate it when Satan knows how to get to me. Someone must have told him that I could take on the world, so he sent his gang, and not the puny guys either, I'm talking about the big ones with names like D., to come jump me in the middle of the night.

Someone please tell me I'm not alone. Have you ever felt 'beat up' after you were having such a good day?

dream job

2010-04-27T17:12:00.002-04:00

ok, I've never been a 'Name It and Claim It' kinda girl. I mean, I believe it has its place in life but I don't feel it's 'Biblically Correct' to name and claim; lottery winnings, a brand new home for $5 or free vacations. But... that's just me.

With all of that said, I am going to put the following out there in a 'name it and claim' sort of way. God, I know you're listening so here it goes.

I want to be a Christian writer and speaker who gets to travel around the world, encouraging young women. I want to write fiction and non fiction books, and get paid to do something that feels as natural as shopping. I also want to plan lovely events, whether that be a birthday party, a baby shower or a wedding. I want to be able to a make a living off of these things so that I won't have to work in Corporate America for the rest of my life. This is my dream job. Let's make it happen.

weekend musings

2010-04-27T11:40:00.003-04:00

Is it weird that I don't like posting about the weekend on Monday's? It almost seems too sad.... Overall I had a lovely weekend spent with old and new friends, family, heavy lifting, some cooking, warm weather, a great church service and serious movies...(sorry about the fuzzy photos... I just using my iPhone for now!)

helped E move on Saturday
had some yummy coconut curry at a tiny hole in the wall Thai restaurant Saturday night
brainstormed some coco lovely ideas with my mum
continued with my addiction to flowers and bought lovely purple and yellow tulips for my roommate and me
finally bought a Basil and Parsley plant so that I could have a window herb garden, seriously this was a work in progress for like 2 years. (I guess this means I have to start cooking again....)

did I mention .... coco lovely

2010-04-23T12:32:00.000-04:00

So, I'm not sure if I have shared this with you all before, but I have a small event and design business. coco lovely, is my creative outlet to test the waters when it comes to creatively thinking and desiging all types of events.

It would be a dream to be able to do this full time. I know that the Lord can do anything so I'll keep planning and we'll see where he takes it. I've got to remember to dream BIG.

Anyway, I am hosting a brunch on May 8th for some friends and am super excited to start coming up with concepts, color pallets etc. Pop over to coco lovely to take a peek at what I'm creating...

contentment

2010-04-21T14:37:00.000-04:00

I've been called a label whore more than once...and I'm thinking that needs to change. I mean who really cares if this cute yellow shirt that I just so happen to be wearing right now is from Banana Republic...umm, I do apparently. I also care that my two favorite rings that I wear are from Tiffany & Co. and that my coffee comes from Starbucks. That burger and fries even looks better to me because it's packaged in Chanel.

This is lame.

I need to get over all of the 'things' in this world that make me feel like 'me' and hold on to what really makes me, me, 'Christ.'

You all will have to keep me in check though. Because right now all I want to do is go my some Chanel nail polish... {le sigh}

weekend musings

2010-04-20T09:28:00.001-04:00

Aren't dandelions whimsical? Whenever I see one it instantly draws me back to my childhood and I can't help but pick them and hope for a wish!

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend. I had a great time with new friends this weekend. Friday night I went Regent University to watch The Blind Side...Outside on the lawn. It was such a gorgeous night too and there weren't a ton of bugs eating us up. After, my new friends invited me out to IHOP and I totally got to indulge in a my favorite. Belgium waffles. OH joy, oh deliciousness, oh...I was so full!

Saturday I spent with my family and later went to Bravo's to meet up with some old friends.

On Sunday, I went to church with my new friend E. I know I've said this before, but it's totally worth mentioning again. It is so refreshing to know really great Christian guys who take their walk with Christ seriously, and are fun and excited about God in a real way. I mean, it's just so awesome. Anyway, after church E. invited me out to play Ultimate Frisbee with him and his friends. At first I said no because, well I was being stupid. But I called him like 10 mins later, as he was behind me in traffic and told him that I had changed my mind and that I wanted to go.

"Oh, it's too late. You can't come now," was his response. HA! Anyway, after picking up some awesome food at Taste Unlimited for lunch, seriously if you don't have one where you live... I'm really sorry.

But I digress. I met up with E. and friends and had a blast learning a new game. Everyone was really nice and were so patient with me while trying to learn the new game. I think I picked it up fairly well, but I did have to experience the whole, 'being the last one picked like in elementary school.' Oh well! We played for over two hours and let me tell you, I was exhausted. When everyone left, E. and I sat around and talked for a bit and then went for a walk on a trail that was in the park.

It was really beautiful and it was fun getting to know him a little better. All in all a lovely weekend.

frozen with love

2010-04-16T16:24:00.001-04:00

Two of my friends are pregnant right now, and I'm sure that more will be popping up over the next couple of months. {there's something about the warm weather} I want to give thoughtful gifts to them and yes adorable baby clothes are always lovely, but adorable baby clothes don't feed a hungry mama who gets only 2 and 3 hours of sleep.
enter - frozen meals.

{photo found here}

such a great, DIY gift that's practical and made with love, literally. I found this over on heart-of-light and had to share the easy instructions. It looks like I will be putting together a bunch of these meals really soon. A little lasagna would be nice. {I'm not much of a casserole lady, but I'm open to suggestions.} Probably a good idea for someone who is moving into a new home, no?

coming into existence

2010-04-16T11:44:00.000-04:00

{photo found here. Isn't it lovely}

as a blogger, you are bound to come to terms with the question of, "Exactly how much should I be sharing?"

I've come to that place only to be left standing here, completley stagnagnt. tap, tap, tap....

So I'll just give you the jist...
I met up with the ex the other night. Had a beer and caught up. After I said goodbye to him, I realized just how different I am. I am NOT the same person that I was when I was dating him. Not even close. It's a scary yet comforting thought to realize. I've grown... who knew?!

I'm sure that he will always hold a special place in my heart and I want him to. We've been through a lot, but one of the overwhelming thoughts is that, he is just not for me.

God is refining me, preparing me for the real thing. And when I say that I don't automatically think, 'The One,' well I do because I am an obessive lady, but I'm truly trying to change my thinking. It is not just about a man, or marriage or children. It's about me. Becoming the best possible version of myself... for Me. For God. And to honor Him in all that I do. Geez, I'm so different....

being a christian is like....

2010-04-14T13:05:00.000-04:00

being constantly surrounded with words of love. Even at your lowest low. You always know that You are loved and that no matter how many times you mess it up, or make mistakes, the love never leaves.

{You can buy these cute wall decals!}

charlotte is in the South

2010-04-12T17:28:00.000-04:00

Geez...it sucks when you realize that you struggle with the SAME things that you have been struggling with for months... OK YEARS.

My trip to Charlotte, was good. I had a blast with my girlfriend Shelby who came with me but overall...wasn't too impressed with the city. (sigh)

I really thought thought that Charlotte was going to be my ticket out of VA but it felt just like Virginia which was odd. Although one thing that I did notice very clearly was that I was in "The South." Read into that however you like, but I'm sure you get my drift.

So, back at square one with the, "What is Lisa going to do with her life?" question of the year.

I have some other things in mind, but feel silly for sharing because who knows if those will work out either....does that make sense? One minute I'm totally fine with being on this road to creating myself, with my Savior leading the way, but other times, like this afternoon, I'm pissed! I just want to know what I'm supposed to be doing and what exactly I am here for.
God, will you please tell me now? thanks.

being a Christian is like....

2010-04-12T10:17:00.000-04:00

a really fantastic sale. The other night I made the mistake of going to New York and Company because I heard that they were having a really great sale. I tried on a ton of stuff and found some really great deals, and I thought to myself this is great! Then I stumbled across the accessories rack. Now, I've been praying about my wardrobe lately that the Lord would help me better accessorize.

(Yes, you read that correctly. I actually prayed that like 2 weeks ago.)

And would you believe that I came across an accessories rack that had necklaces, bracelets, earrings all for $2.99!
I kept asking the sales lady, "This?! This right here is only $2.99?!"
"Mmhmm, " she would say over and over again.

And I just couldn't believe how good of deal I was getting. It seemed way to good to be true. But trust me, it was THAT great.

a lovely Easter weekend...

2010-04-05T11:09:00.000-04:00

happy Monday to you all. I hope you had a fantastic Easter weekend. I spent a lot of time with friends and family and attended two awesome church services on Sunday. It was glorious.

This week is sure to be fantastic, as I'm only working 2 1/2 days and then I'm off to Charlotte! This mini vacation/business trip could not be coming at a better time. I'm so exhausted and yet bored with my full time job. And I am just really praying that job opportunities will abound in Charlotte. I have two job interviews so we will see what happens! (say a prayer for me)

Had to share these pic with you today. They're so perfectly spring.

{photos found here}

better than a Good Friday

2010-04-02T09:53:00.000-04:00

I'm about to share something with you that I have told very few people. Mainly because I know it's going to make me sound like a terrible Christian. Ok, Here it goes...

I've never really been into Easter. I always thought, "What's the big deal that Jesus died for us if God knew that He was going to resurrected on the third day?"

Whew, that was a lot to get off of my chest. Are you all ready to stone me now? (I'm kidding.) So, this year, at the beginning of March, everyone was starting to get excited about Easter. Me, not so much. That was until two weeks ago. I'm in church and we're in the middle of Praise and Worship. Our leader for my service is Pastor Tina, and she goes to the stage and talks about how Jesus didn't just take on our sin, He BECAME our sin. And I realized, how much he must have been hurting. Physically, aching, bleeding. Bruised and punished. I thought about all of the times that I have sinned, and it seems like enough to crucify Him 10 times over. Now add your sin, your friends sins, your co-workers sins, random people you have met sins, the entire worlds sins.... He became. His Father, turned away from Him, shunned Him.

It's amazing and the thought leaves me speechless and dazed over His love for me. He loved me. He loved you. He loves us all.

This is the best Friday of my life.

being a Christian is like...

2010-04-01T09:25:00.006-04:00

this post started out as many different things, but the main point is that I'm going through a refining stage in my spiritual walk. Conviction at every corner. And I just really hope and pray that when this season is over, I come out beautiful and strong....

like Tiffany & Co. jewelry.

tapas are my new favorite thing

2010-03-31T09:29:00.001-04:00

Buenos Dias. I am super tired this morning but it's definitely worth out. Went out to Bardo in Norfolk, Virginia with my "friend" S. The food was simply amazing. I'm considering becoming a vegetarian {I'll save all those details for another post} and the menu had plenty to offer. I had delicious vegetable spring rolls with hoisin, ginger and peanut dipping sauce and coconut curry soup. The soup had so much flavor, and the spices didn't just quickly dissipate after you ate them. They gradually got stronger and stronger until I realized that the reason that I was hot was because of the curry. Trust me, just order it.

Anyway, had a great time with S. on our date. We both had wine with our meals and then split dessert which was dim sum donuts with a round of dipping sauces. Oh, they just melted in your mouth. (Next time I go I will be sure to take pictures.)

Overall all the evening was lovely. Even ended with a kiss, and a good kiss at that. (Although I must say that I enjoy slower kissing and he seemed much more....ravenous?)

I was completely elated about the night, called my girlfriend to fill her in and all and then that's when he called. He was like I haven't drank in a while so I think I should chill before I drive, can I come over to your place? Um...... Although I appreciated his responsibility there was no way that I wanted him over, at 11:45 p.m. I'm not an idiot, brotha. I politely told him that if he didn't have GPS, then it would probably be very difficult for him to get to my place. {that is not a lie. It really is tricky unless you know the area}

Anyway, all in all a pretty good night. Now, on to the day in which I must try and focus and get some real work done instead of dreaming about Charlotte and looking up apartments online...

lady in a red dress

2010-03-30T11:21:00.000-04:00

{Found here}

I'm so wanting this red dress from Anthropologie... and I've never bought anything from them before. I know, I know! {That's practically unheard of in the blog world.}

I really really REALLY want it and the price is great, $50. Perhaps a little splurge is necessary so I can have it for my trip to Charlotte... {pretty please with sugar AND sprinkles}

a lovely thing

2010-03-29T11:45:00.001-04:00

this really excites me and confirms the fact that I want all white dishes. The lovely hutch would be a bonus...

{Photo found here}

Weekend Musings

2010-03-29T11:36:00.001-04:00

Happy Monday. It's raining here in Hampton Roads but I don't mind it so much. It makes things kinda cozy plus, I get to wear my Banana Republic trench coat that I got on sale three years ago. Sigh, there's nothing like a classic trench.

But, I digress. The weekend was perfectly pleasant although I did struggle with boredom on Saturday. I normally work at the Museum most Saturdays but our schedule for the coming month is very light so I was off. Great!.... Except now what? After having a lovely coffee date with a new friend I drove around for a while looking for something to do. I tried cleaning my room, but just couldn't get into it. So, I laid around, ate, laid around some more, went to Walmart?, laid around and then watched movies. It's kinda sad that it's that difficult for me to relax. But, I'm learning nonetheless.

I did have a fantastic Palm Sunday spent with family and friends. The message that was preached was so powerful. He spoke about a time of Lament. When you are crying out to God, begging God, screaming at God, during all of that He never leaves You, He never forsakes you. Never. It really struck home because I was definitely going through my time of Lament this winter. And I felt God so close to me, even though I was going through it. Plus, it was comforting to know that what I was going through actually has a name, and that I am not alone. In fact, we're never alone.

Dinner was spent at my parents house. We feasted on Shrimp Marinara with scallops, and corn and the best and easiest strawberry shortcake. (I ate mine too fast, hence the lack of picture.) Seriously, buy angel food cake, cut up bunches of strawberries, add a can of Lite Reddi Whip and let the magic happen. Delicious and low fat. yum.

Family time was awesome, lots of laughter, jokes and talks of relationships, past and future. Followed by the latest episode of Project Runway and The Celebrity Apprentice. (The only real reason I watch The Celebrity Apprentice is to see Curtis Stone {le sigh} and to yell at the TV about how their making rookie mistakes. Oh, you didn't know I was the Arbiter of all things business?)

All in all a perfectly lovely weekend.

lazy bones and dreams

2010-03-26T16:48:00.003-04:00

{photo by Julia Stotz}

ugh! I've been feeling lazy about writing lately. Haven't necessarily felt inspired as of late. Actually if I'm being honest; I have felt inspired, I just haven't felt like writing about it.

Any who, I guess I had better clue you in on what's new with me. I have been wanting to move for quite some time, probably seriously for six months. I've had job interviews etc, but for whatever reason things just haven't worked out. I've been seriously praying that the Lord would either:

A. Help me find another job somewhere else so I can move -or-

B. Help me to stay content if moving isn't in the cards for me right now

So, I've been looking and searching and hoping and praying. My church announced back in December or January that they were going to do a church plant in Charlotte, NC. I quickly read over the information but at the time I had NO interest in being involved in a church plant. I mean, I just didn't feel 'holy' enough.

Time passed, seasons changed and I find myself being drawn to Charlotte. It's the weirdest thing. Now, let me preface it with saying that I naturally have an obsessive personality. {Not something that I am particularly proud of, but at least at this stage I can admit it.} When I get an idea in my head, it's stuck there for quite some time.

I started praying about whether or not Charlotte would be my next destination. I'm still not sure of what will come from all of my research and job hunting but...

1. One of my very closest friends was shocked when I mentioned it to her because she was just talking to her dad about whether or not she should move there. (This was before I had said anything to her)

2. I went to the informational meeting at my church and already love my pastor and his wife although she is shy, I'm pretty sure we can be friends.

3. My friend and I have planned a trip to visit Charlotte April 8-11th

4. I already have one job interview lined up

I don't want to jump to conclusions, I don't want to say, "Oh, I'm moving to Charlotte Next WEEK!" I just want to be perfectly patient and wait for God's direction. And I'm not trying to be super spiritual, I just really mean it....

how i'm feeling today...

2010-03-24T16:02:00.000-04:00

"tis a far far better thing, doing stuff for other people..."

for the hate of money

2010-03-23T10:13:00.003-04:00

I never thought it was true until now but sometimes you really shouldn't talk about money with friends. Take for example yesterday. My entire office was called into the boardroom to announce that we had just taken on a new client. Great, yay.

As a way to encourage us to seek out new clients we have a bonus program. One of my co-workers and friend, B, had referred the client and so the big boss said a short congratulations to B and said that he would be getting a bonus. I was so happy for him, he works really hard and totally deserves.

BUT, when I got back to my desk he preceded to send me instant messages about how he was upset that they announced that he would be getting a a bonus. Uummm, OK, I said but you should be proud of the fact that you got it. What's the Big deal? He wouldn't stop, he just kept bringing it up, bringing up the fact that he works hard everyday and shouldn't only be recognized for bringing in new clients, the fact that he stays late everyday, etc etc etc. Finally I was like look, If you want a pat on the back every time you stay late or do something good then you're going to have to move to another company because that just doesn't happen here. That kinda shut him up. But then this morning, I asked him if he was still upset about the whole thing. He was but said that he had talked to his roommates, who mind you have exceptional careers in politics etc, and said that they understood so he felt better.

Um, so does that mean that because I'm just a 'Meetings Assistant' that there's no possible way that I could understand? Am, I somehow dumb and blissfully unaware that bonuses are negative things? Here's a hint, how about you not rub the fact that you got a bonus in my face, five times in one day.

OK, I'm done.

it's a new season

2010-03-22T15:31:00.004-04:00

Happy Monday, while it is raining and overcast here in Hampton Roads I can't be sad because we had the most lovely weather over the weekend. I'm talking mid 80's! I'm so excited that it's officially spring.

I'm not going to lie, the winter was pretty tough and I don't just mean weather wise. There were many battles fought, many tears shed, and many nights of fitful sleep but, and I mean this so seriously, the Lord truly carried me through it all.

Last night, I took some time to read through my journal entries from January February and the beginning of March. While I was reading it, I couldn't help but wonder, "Did I write this?" Journal entries filled with such hope, promise, commitment to God, TRUST in God. It was almost as if I was reading someone else's work, from someone else's life. I mean since when did I have such a peace about things?!

Apparently, when I really gave it over to God, and layed it all out.

I was a ball of tears, heartbreak, worries, and stress lying naked on the cold ground with crumpled leaves surrounding me. The sky was gray, overcast with my emotions. I cried out to God, yelled out to Him, groaned out to Him, and He heard me. He wrapped His strong arms around me. Clothed me and picked me up as if I were a child, His child, and rocked me while I wept. When I stopped crying He didn't let go. His strong hold was still on me. He wiped away all signs of tears and bounced me in the air, making me smile and giggle like a toddler. I stood on my feet once again, but I knew I wasn't alone. In fact He was holding my hand, helping me cross the street, helping me at the beginning and ending of each day. He spoke words of encouragement to my heart, he made me smile big and often. He introduced me to new friends and helped me rekindle old friendships. He fed me His Word daily and I ate, famished from malnutrition. He loved me, more than anyone ever could. And He rejoices with me at the start of this new season.

too much?

2010-03-17T10:37:00.004-04:00

{photo by Max Wanger}

How is it Wednesday already? This week has been flying by and I'm sure that the weeks to come will do so as well. Things have been quite busy around here with work and lots of play!

Last night I met up with one of my greatest friends Matt. He is THE most laid back guy I have EVER met in my ENTIRE life. (Yes, the exaggeration was needed there.) Anyway, we went out to dinner with him and his cousins and I just always have a crush on him. I don't know what it is. We always joke around about dating and at one point we even talked about it, but it just never happened. Maybe because we're too different?

I mean, I work 40-60 hours a week, date random guys, I'm pretty trendy/sophisticated (if I do say so myself) and just different. He's this super laid back, skater boy, going to grad school, who LOVES music, traveling, photography and randomness. He wears skinny tight boy jeans and grows a beard every now and then and sometimes he dresses like a lumberjack. But that is everything that I LOVE about him. Anyway, he's my friend and we'll always be friends, so that's that.

He said something to me last night that really kinda shook me though. His cousin Seth, who is like the 2nd coolest guy I have ever met, was all heartbroken because him and his girlfriend broke up. He's 18 and I was like, "Dude, trust me you'll get over it." He went on to explain that he wasn't just dating her to date her but that he had hoped that they would get to the courting phase. Whoa! That was the first time I had ever heard an 18 year old male say courting. So Matt and I were giving him advice and so we started talking about marriage. I obviously want to get married and Matt was teasing me about it.

"You want it too much though."

Me. "What?! No, I don't. It's just that..."

"If you had to pick between a husband and God who would you pick."

Me."God."

"Ok, now say that with some conviction and without rolling your eyes."

Sigh. Maybe I do want it too much? Because even though I managed to say it with conviction, I'm still thinking about it today. And the problem, well just one of them, is that let's say God does give me a husband. Well, what's after that? All of my obsessing, worrying, stressing and tears gone because my prayers have been answered. I feel in a way like I would be lost. Does that make sense? So, it's really got me thinking, what do I want more?

the love of fellowship

2010-03-12T10:19:00.005-05:00

{photo by Max Wanger}

So, last night I went to my friends small group and let me just say that I'm so happy that I canceled by date, to go. It was so refreshing to be around 20 and 30 something Christians, who have a desire to serve God in a very real way, without being boring, uppity or lame. It was such a great group of girls and guys; granted there were more females than males but that's how it normally is anyway. But truthfully, it wasn't even about that, it was just about being surrounded by my brothers and sisters in Christ.

We opened up with prayer, had a time of praise and worship, and then we went on to the lesson which was all about our spiritual gifts. We took this spiritual gift assessment test where you labeled things from 0-4. According to the quiz my highest rankings were encouragement/exhortation, serving, and teaching. That was all fine and dandy but then I looked at my lower scores. Giving, (gulp), intercession, (gulp) evangelism (Double gulp!)
I was sorely disappointed with how low I had scored in these area, I mean we're talking 6 and 7 points... out of 20.

When we opened the floor for discussion we all commented how difficult evangelism really seemed. But the more we discussed it the more we realized that Evangelism is NOT just one thing. It's a street preacher, it's a missionary, it's handing out a track, it's going door to door, it's bringing up God in your daily conversations, it's letting your friends know where you stand, it's standing out no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it seems sometimes, it's holding the door for someone, visiting the elderly, writing a blog! We can't keep putting God and the things of God into a box, because He is so much more amazingly larger than that.

I digress. We followed up our discussion with a time of prayer. I mentioned to the group that I was looking to relocate and that I wanted prayer over that. They were all so supportive and encouraging.

After prayer we sat around chit chatting, several of them asking questions about what I did and where I was from. One guy in particular caught my attention. He came in a little late and sat on one of the couches across from me. While we were going through the lesson, he was talkative and vibrant, and brought such an ease to the group. During prayer, he prayed so genuinely, with adoration, and reference. I could quietly hear him whispering, "Yes, Lord" and "Thank you Jesus." And I'm not saying that I'm interested, because it's not even about that. But to encounter a man who's love for God was so apparent and real, well that's the most attractive thing I've ever seen.

i peeked...

2010-03-11T12:36:00.001-05:00

I would like to state for the record that I am not crazy. Nor am I stalker of any kind. Now, on to the story....

So, I was supposed to have dinner with the Chrysler guy today, but I ended up rescheduling with him, via text last night. The main reason for my sudden change of plans is the fact that I want to attend my friends small group session from my church. I have been wanting to get more involved in my church and I thought a small group would be a perfect start.

And, I felt like it was kind of a slap in the face to God, to ditch HIM and something that I have been wanting for weeks, to go out with a guy that I had literally no future with. So, I rescheduled.

He texted me back like 2 hours later saying that he couldn't answer because he is a soccer coach and they had just finished a game. Soccer coach, eh? That's kinda sexy. Anyway, we texted back and forth for a while and he definitely has swag. Super confident, but not cocky.

So today, at work, he randomly popped into my head and I did the most obscene, ridiculous, shamefaced thing....

I googled him. (Sigh) So, now I know a myriad of details about his life including the fact that we are both alumni from the same college; except he graduated like 20 years before me. I told you he was older.

So, if you're wondering whatever happened to the mystery of meeting someone new? Google is what happened.

in the middle of me

2010-03-10T10:49:00.005-05:00

{photo by Max Wagner}

OK. I don't want to become cynical. But, I feel like it's happening. I know that Bible says, that those who compare themselves amongst themselves are not wise. {2 Corinthians 10:12} I do, I really know that it says that and I try so hard to not compare but it just seems to happen...often.

I mean, I look at a lot of Christian women my age. A lot of them are married, with children, very active in their church, wear dresses all the time, don't swear, or drink, or watch Sex in the City. They somehow always manage to incorporate God into their conversations, they always say, "I'll pray for you," and you KNOW that they will, and they have their devotions every day. They spend their days, cooking, cleaning, carting around children, or if they don't have kids they go home to their husbands and have guilt free sex whenever they want.

And then there's me. The 20 something single Christian woman. I'm single, with no children, still transitioning from the church that I grew up in to a church that's better suited for where I am in life. I don't wear dresses all the time, however I have been wearing them more lately {I really enjoy being feminine}, I swear occasionally, I drink occasionally, and I own every episode of Sex in the City. I'm trying each to day to incorporate God and Jesus into my daily conversations, but I still find myself obsessing over things that are not of him, i.e. read my last post. I try to remember to pray for everybody, but forget especially on mornings when I wake up late for work and quickly read a scripture. I spend my days working at job, that isn't terrible, but my heart desires more, I haven't cooked in like 2 weeks and my dinners lately have been consisting of baked french fries, or a bowl of cereal. Plus it takes me a really long time to do laundry, which is precisely why I have so many panties. And we're not even going to talk about the guilt free sex; it just doesn't exist in my world.

So then, where do I stand? Do I desire to be like those other women, and get married and have children. Well, yes. I absolutely want those things for my life. Do I need to work on being more godly... obviously. But, I don't want to become a cookie cutter woman. And I know it's unfair to think that's what will happen, but I do.

In a way, I almost fear being transformed because there are many things that I like about myself or that I enjoy doing that aren't necessarily ungodly, but I know that if I shared with others they would of course say that they were. Am I making sense?

I just want to be me, BUT and this is a big but; I guess it's not really about what I want but what God wants for me. But what exactly am I willing to give up....

men...and more men

2010-03-10T09:37:00.003-05:00

So, I'm pretty terrible at keeping you updated on my 'love-life.' And I'll just be honest that I'm not sure as to how much I should be sharing sometimes. You never know in this blog world how many people are reading these things and just how connected they are to you. But, the whole purpose of 20 something is to share and encourage, so I will, with a bit of discretion of course...

My lunch date that I had last week went well. I had great time with my new friend S. It's kinda funny because when I first saw him my initial thought was, "Wow, you're cuter than I thought you would be." (I, of course, did not say this out loud.) Anyway, lunch was fun, we laughed, talked and joked about a lot of different things. He asked me for my number and I gave it to him. No biggie. He told me that he would call later that evening, which I shrugged to and said OK. I was a little surprised when he actually called though, because that's a hell of a follow up. We chatted for a little bit and then he got busy doing something and said he would call me back, which he didn't but I wasn't disappointed.

The next day He texted. And then called. (A chat of what are you doing tonight. I said I was hanging out with my girlfriends. He asked where. I said I don't know. Talk to you later.)

Next day. Text. (What are you doing tonight)

Next day. Text and then call. (What time are you coming over. We had planned on Thursday to watch the Academy Awards together.)

Watched the Oscars at his place. Left around midnight when it was over.
10mins later. Text (Call me when you get home)

Next day call. (How's your day going)

Next day call. (Want to have lunch?)

Umm...do you see where I'm going with this? S. is really nice but entirely too eager. And it's a huge turn off. Granted I realize that if I really liked him, I would probably just chalk it up to, "He's so attentive!" But alas, the chemistry just isn't really there for me. I'm still trying to figure out a way to let him know that, "I think you're a nice guy, but I just want to be friends" without saying that.

On to the next. I have a dinner date with the guy from the Chrysler, which I am surprisingly excited about. Granted he is older, so I seriously doubt anything will come from this, but I want to meet new people and have a good time so.... cest la vie.
We've had our casual back and forth texts about making plans but so far he has been very subtle, confident, and kinda sexy about the whole thing. So, I'm looking forward to it.

Finally, my friend B. (Sigh) Where do I even begin with this one. We used to 'date' in a way, but nothing really serious. Then I started dating my ex and we pretty much stopped hanging out altogether, because it was kinda awkward and uncomfortable. Anyway, now that I'm single, I am attracted to him yet again, but not really sure what do with all this energy. To be honest, I made it very clear that I'm interested, but because he is interested in someone else that makes for a no go, besides casual flirting here and there. (Sigh) Which to be honest, I know that I wouldn't want to get into a relationship with him anyway, so why am I wasting so much energy on it? Perhaps, I just like the attention.

Anyway, hopefully I will never do an entire post of the guys that I'm dating because it seems a tad overindulgent. Plus, I just re-read my post and um, no where do I mention God, or Jesus or what He would have to say about all of my dates, the men I choose or my love life in general....What do you think?

scenes from the weekend

2010-03-08T08:45:00.007-05:00

Happy Monday to you all. I hope you had a relaxing and enjoyable weekend with lots of laughter and smiles.

I spent Friday night with one of my co-workers. First at Happy Hour at Friday's and then we went for manicures. I wasn't sure about the lavender nail polish at first, but now I'm kinda loving it.

Saturday morning, I got up early and made a yummy, quick! and healthy breakfast, and lounged around in bed all morning until I had to go to work.

Saturday afternoon and night was consumed with a huge wedding. It was a traditional Jewish ceremony and I love, love loved it. It was so beautiful and I really feel in love with the tradition, the signing of the Ketubah, the Chuppah, the breaking of the glass, the prayers. It was lovely.

And then to top it all off it was beautiful! I might as well admit that I have a thing for cute Jewish boys. I don't know what it is. Perhaps their distinct features, and hair and, well I LIKE their noses. Perhaps I just want to marry one so that I can have a big Jewish wedding. (Although I must make it clear that they would need to be a Christian for obvious reasons. You know, the whole unequally yoked thing would be a BIG deal. And in case you think I am completely crazy, there are Christian Jews.)

{The florist gave me two buckets of flowers! I made some arrangements for home and then took one in for work to brighten up the front desk. Simple gestures for Make A Difference Mondays}

I spent Sunday morning in church with an awesome message. Visited a close friend who is in the hospital. She's actually like my grandmother, but things are looking too good for her, so keep her in your prayers. Hung out with brother and then watched the Oscars with a new friend. What did you do this weekend?

sassy calling cards...

2010-03-05T11:57:00.003-05:00

ok, I found one more thing that I really need...umm want. These calling cards are super sexy and confident. what do you think, funny or too sassy? Bonus, they are hand letter pressed out in California. At $6 for 6 cards though, I would probably just want to hold onto them!

Found on etsy.

some purple passion...

2010-03-05T10:22:00.002-05:00

Can I just tell you for one minute how much I love this room. It's perfection with the delicious purple walls. I would love to re-create something like this in my bedroom. (No, I'm not coveting, I just really love it.)

I especially need that tree branch looking thing to hold my necklaces. Le Sigh. Too bad I can't paint in my current apartment but I'm sure I can somehow get this same feel. Want to see more of this amazing house? Click here...

latte love

2010-03-04T12:06:00.002-05:00

This just looked too yummy to not post. I wish there was a cafe in Hampton Roads that could make these. Anybody know of one?

Photo found here.

Thursdays are such a tease....

2010-03-04T11:36:00.003-05:00

Happy Thursday! Only one day left to the weekend which should be fantastic. Although, I don't have plans, except for Saturday, which I have to work at the Museum; did I ever mention that I'm a Special Events Manager? Well, I am. I mostly do a lot of weddings at our facility and they are all lovely, and I always sneak a piece of wedding cake.

Anyway, I will be working all afternoon and evening on Saturday, and Sunday I have church and then who knows what will happen after that. I really want to watch the Academy Awards and a little red carpet, but alas I do not have cable at my home, so I'm going to have to find someone's cable to borrow for the evening.

Last night I met my brother, at the museum as we were having our Wednesday night Jazz event. It's open to the public and it's free jazz, so why not go? It was so random how I actually knew almost everyone at the table he was sitting at. In fact one of my friends thought I was coming to see him, and then I was like, "Um, you're sitting with brother, so hello!"
It was a great time. I kinda met this guy...

And the only reason I'm going to say kinda is because he was a little bit older. Ok, ok, a lot older. How old? Well, let's just say that when I told my girlfriends how old he was, they were a bit in shock, and no he's not 60. Anyway, I doubt anything will really come from it but it's nice to be thought as of a,"good looking, intelligent and smart woman." (yes, he actually said those words.)

I also have a 'lunch date' today. As a matter of fact it's kinda blind date. I'm not really sure how it happened. Well, yes I am, I met one of our sponsors at an event and I had to leave early. He looked at me and said, "Why do you have a date?" I had to laugh because a matter of fact I did. (It was horrible date, barely worth mentioning.) Anyway, he was like, I have this guy in my office, blah, blah, blah, you should meet. Originally the three of us were supposed to go but he totally bailed on me today so it will just be me and this other guy. Kinda random but I'm always for it. I will be sure and give you guys an update.

reason #425 you shouldn't have sex before you get married

2010-03-03T12:07:00.003-05:00

I'm not a virgin. I'm not ashamed or proud to say it. It's just a fact. Anyway, during my last relationship, sex did play a role. Well, as you know that relationship did not work out. While we were together I was on birth control and we always practiced safe sex. Anyway, I recently came off of BC and didn't really think anything of it, until last night, rather this morning, at 3am I shot up in bed and realized that I never had a period in February.

Freaked out, doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I lied back down in my bed, but my mind was racing and I knew that sleep at that stage was pointless. I dragged myself out of bed, put on sweats and boots, because it was sleeting outside and drove to Walgreens to get a pregnancy test.

I wasn't embarrassed that I was buying a pregnancy test at 3am. No, embarrassment didn't hit me until I left the store, went back to my car and realized that I still had zit cream on my face that I had applied night before. Sexy, I know.

Anyway, I went home and chugged some Crystal Light to, you know speed along the process, did the deed, and then waited. I put in a DVD of friends to distract myself. Five minutes later, I went into the bathroom and saw that the test was negative. Thank God. I still felt uneasy though because I still hadn't gotten a period, but I was able to get to sleep that night.

My point is, that if I was never having sex in the first place then I would never had to have gone through all of that. The nerves, the sweating, the loss of sleep, the "I swear God, I will never have sex again, if you let me be not pregnant" thoughts. I mean, it's kind of ridiculous and it has become very clear to me that God, doesn't want us to not have sex until marriage because, He wants us to miss out on the 'fun'. (And I say 'fun' because let me tell you, if you have the Holy Spirit in you, the after effect of guilt and shame of fornication, doesn't make for an all around pleasurable experience.)

He tells us these things because he doesn't want his daughters to have wake up in the middle of the night worried about being pregnant, or worry about STD's, or have our hearts broken and the bitter icing on the top is that we gave it up to someone who 'loved us.' More than speaking on sex, the Bible talks about protecting our hearts. OUR HEARTS. He knows that sex to many woman, especially Christian women, is more than just a physical act. It's a connection, it's a moment where true one-ness is achieved.

So, I say all of that to tell you that:

A. I won't be having sex again until I'm married
B. Yes, I realize just how difficult that is going to be
C. I am seriously going to need help with this
D. Perhaps you should consider doing the same

The choice is so clearly yours. I'm just giving you my two cents

*By the way, I would like to happily report that I got my period.

is it coveting if..

2010-03-02T12:04:00.002-05:00

So, I have this little obsession with fashion. No, I'm not the type to run around dropping hundreds of dollars on one pair of shoes, a la Carrie Bradshaw, but I do find myself perusing online stores, actual stores, catalogs and blogs all in the name of fashion. And I mean, what's really wrong with that? Aren't we supposed to look our best for the Lord? (ok, that might be a stretch but you get what I'm sayin)

This year as one of my 'resolutions', I have decided to take my fashion sense to the next level. Don't laugh, this is serious business. With my resolution comes the fact that I no longer want to buy clothes just for the sake of buying them. I want to love each and every piece that I have in my closet. Which also means that I need to seriously tackle this a project and donate A LOT of things that I a. Never wear, b. don't fit.

I really want to work on more 'put together' looks. Here's just two looks that I want to achieve for the spring. whatcha think?

The other side of the cloud...

2010-03-02T11:37:00.004-05:00

Pslam 30:5b

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

So simple and true. Today has been...lovely so far. I don't feel like I am carrying my burdens anymore. I don't feel tired and run down. Yesterday, I most certainly did, but thank God that his promises are true. Seriously.

I know that am God's and that He has a plan for me. I get so sidetracked sometimes but I know that what he says is true. That He has wonderful thoughts of me and fantastic plans for my life. Granted, it would be nice to know exactly what He was thinking! But, if I knew all of that then why would I have a reason to trust him with my life? I guess I wouldn't.

Thank you God, for giving me your JOY.

I don't want to complain, but....

2010-03-01T17:15:00.003-05:00

Where has the time gone..where has my life gone?! I wish I could write to you a totally upbeat and encouraging word today, but the truth is, I feel so crappy, so down, so alone.

A lot of things have transpired in the almost year that I was MIA. Where to begin..

Perhaps the largest thing that changed is that I am single...again. Things did not work out with B, as I had hoped. Well, they just didn't work out. Now, of course, that I look back all of the warning signs were there. All of the doubt, questioning and sin was there. The relationship was far from holy and yet for some reason I so desperately wanted it to work out. Why? I mean was I that desperate for attention, did I want a companion so bad that I was willing to lower my standards to have one? Well, yes. Shameful but truthful.

Not only am I dealing with all of the emotions that go with a breakup, but I feel stuck in a job that sucks. I know, I should be thankful to even have a job right now, but this is not what I want. I'm trying to move out of VA but things are going slow. I've had a lot of interviews but no actual offers, although, I did get to the final stages of a particular position in D.C. but I just did not feel right about accepting it, so I'm back at level 1.

My grandmother was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and the doctors are giving her a year.

I don't mean to sound super depressing right now. I just can't help but feeling alone and down right now. I've been reminding myself of scripture, I know that God is there for me. I do. I just wish...that I didn't feel so alone.

Psalm 34:18
The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

I'm clinging to this.

..is this thing on?

2010-02-24T10:02:00.001-05:00

um...hi! It's a loong story, will share with you soon!

OK OK

2009-06-08T11:03:00.001-04:00

Ok, Ok, so I’ve been MIA for quite some time. I know, shame on me. BUT, the good news is that I am gathering material for my new blog. I can’t reveal the name just yet, but know that I am getting it together and that it should be up and running within the next week.

I’m excited to say the least, because it will be encompassing much more topics that are relevant to us, yes us twenty something Christian women. We have A LOT of interests and I’m hoping to be able to encompass all of that in the new blog.

I’m praying to get some new programs for my computer to be able to do different things, to make it much more lovely.

Anyway, if you have any ideas, or suggestions of things that you want to see on the new blog, shoot me an email. I love getting mail!

...oops

2009-04-07T18:56:00.003-04:00

Has it really been 2 1/2 months since my last post? That's just sad. (sigh) Well, things have been very busy around here but I swear (and I know I said this last time) I will get better at posting on a regular basis.

Anyway, just to catch you all up on what I've been doing with my life...

Spiritual Life

(deep breath) So, things at my home church have not been going so well. In fact, I started visiting other churches in my area. It's been my church since childhood so it's hard to just 'walk away' but I have to do what's best for me, what God would want for me. Granted I have skipped out on church a couple of Sundays, but I'm back on track and wanting that close personal relationship again.

Love Life

Well, it seems that I have gone and found a boyfriend. Correction, he has found me. After all this time, I am dating (for the second time) one of my oldest friends. I'm known B since middle school and we dated my first year of college for about a year. Anyway, we broke up but remained friends....blah blah blah, (the entire story would take way too long to explain) but the Lord put us back together again and it's great. He is more than just a boyfriend, but a friend, a Christian Brother, and my love.

Work Life

Going well, staying busy. The other day we had an event and for a moment, ok for a coupe of hours, I thought that this is just not the career direction that I want to head into. So I cried, it's what I do best, wiped away the tears and kept moving. Things have calmed down and bit and I'm really craving more responsibility so we'll see where it goes.

Other Life

Still finding things that I am interested in and aspire to do and be. I'm going to D.C. this weekend for the last weekend of the Cherry Blossom Festival. Can't wait to spend time with friends and take pictures of all of the blooming Cherry Blossoms, I hear it's lovely. I ran my first 1/2 Marathon in March and am feeling great! I've lost about 20 pounds and didn't realize that I could feel "this good."

Anyway enough catching up, I plan to be around a lot more often...

lovely

2009-01-24T16:11:00.004-05:00

Worth a Saturday Post.

I'm instantly in love. This is how I aspire to look and dress at all times....Classic, sophisticated, and a little sexy. How lovely.

Photo compliments of Sartorialist.

facebook and dreams

2009-01-23T23:44:00.004-05:00

So, I've been on facebook for two hours again. (I know, I know but I really couldn't help it this time)

Anyway, I went to school with some incredibly talented people. And again, I feel encouraged to really pursue what's in my heart.

So, what's in my heart? Umm....I'm not exactly sure yet.

Does it mean anything that I had a dream last night that I was a fourth grade teacher, teaching my kids about bugs (strange, I know).

Seriously God. A little direction right about now would be lovely.....

Friday Eve

2009-01-22T21:23:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow is Friday, and with the week that I've had at work I am most grateful. (Then again, I'm most grateful for any Friday.)

But, I have to say that I finally got some things done this week that I had meaning to do for quite some time now.

-Hand wash clothes, delicates and such (This took forever. No wonder I always put it off.)

-Submit an article to a local publication

-Sent a query letter to another publication on how to submit an article

-Folded and put away a mountain of laundry

I know that non of this is terribly exciting, but it's real and sometimes it just takes a long time to put away those clothes. Anyway...i digress.

I'm really excited about submitting articles to publications. Like I mentioned earlier it's about time I dive in. Even if the water is cold. It's just so much better to just do it instead of sticking a toe, and then a foot in and then letting your legs dangle from the side... blah, blah, blah. By the time you warm up and get in, everybody else is out. No thanks, but that won't be my fate.

In other news, I have a decision to make in regards to my friend B. (Not the birthday B. This is another B. which just goes to show how many friends I have whose names begin with the letter B.)

I would get into all of the details but quite frankly ,it's been a long day and the only thing that I really want to get into, is bed.

Details coming soon.....

God is good.

My President

2009-01-20T16:52:00.004-05:00

He's not just THE President of the United States, he's MY President, my leader, and I believe him to be my friend. While watching the inauguration online today at work, I can honestly say that I was actually PROUD to be an American. Most days I wish I were from England, France or some other classic European country. But today, for the first time, the only flag that I wanted to wave with my hands and heart was the American Flag.

loving it

2009-01-18T20:34:00.003-05:00

Banana Republic Winter 2008...loving it for thousands of reasons.

... waiting for?

2009-01-18T19:59:00.004-05:00

So, I just spent the last...two hours on facebook (sad I know). It sucked me in and suddenly I was helpless to the incessant clicking. But, I would hardly say that I was wasting time. In fact, I left facebook feeling motivated to really dive into the things that I want to do with my life. I couldn't help but think to myself while I was looking at all of my friends photos, "What am I waiting for?" If I want to make myself a writer, then I can make myself a writer. If I want to move to New York, then I can move to New York.

Of course all of this is something that I need to pray about and at the same time earnestly seek direction, but I feel that I would deeply regret it if I never even tried...tired to be a writer full time, or move to the city, or just live the life that I always thought that I would. Don't get me wrong, I love my life right now, but I can't help but feeling like I was meant to do more, be more.

So, here comes the hard part... actually putting all of this into real time work. Dedicating time to my writing, really crafting my articles, making them special, personal, works of art even. I need to dedicate time to searching for a job in New York or D.C. or wherever I am feeling drawn to. If that means leaving work, and then coming home and working for another two or three hours than so be it. This is my life and I only get one. So...what am I waiting for?

living on less and birthdays

2009-01-06T19:27:00.006-05:00

Quick update: I was so broke I just pitched in some cash, $5, for my friend B's birthday. Now, that I have a few extra bucks if I see something that just screams his name I will pick it up for him. I was talking to him at his birthday dinner. Nothing special. We were there and he was happy.

__________________________________________

So, I am officially living life on less. Today went well; I can't complain. I had food to eat. Speaking of which I'm about to indulge in some spaghetti and meatballs, that I made last night, and watch "Rumor Has It," which of course was rented from the library. jackpot!

I have a birthday party to go to on Saturday night which of course means that I must get extra creative as I need a gift. My friend B is turning 31 and I want to get him something nice....and inexpensive. I'm thinking I'm going to have to make him something or give him a good ol' IOU.

Any Ideas??

Broken down New Years and money matters....

2009-01-05T18:46:00.004-05:00

I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday and hopefully some time off from work. We can all use a little bit of that right?

My holidays were great, spent some much loved time with the family, and time with friends is always sweet. But, a couple of wrenches were thrown into my perfect holiday.

New Year's morning- Went to get my hair done. I wanted to enter the new year looking fly, can you blame me? I was about to move my car but it wouldn't start. Hmm...Well, a priority is a priority so I left my car and got my hair done. Seven and a half hours later, yes it really did take that long, my roommate met me to give my car a jump. It worked perfectly and I went home to rush to get ready to go out with some of my friends.

As I was making my way down I-64 my radio started to go in and out, something it had done earlier that day. I turned it off and kept on driving only to have my car start jerking around, the lights went out and my speedometer stopped working. Yikes! I quickly pulled over turned the car off and silently cursed in my head. (Perhaps not the most Christian reaction) I called AAA, my parents and my friend who I was supposed to be meeting up later.

Anyway, $500 later my car is fixed but I'm broke. Not just kinda but perhaps the brokest I have been in a long time. It's my own fault really, I admit it. I have expensive habits and I haven't been tithing like I should. So- what to do now? Cook dinner a lot, rent movies from the library, have people over for entertainment, drive less and write more. And really, this is far from 'hard living,' but it will be a little bit of an adjustment. Thank God I think I still have a few bucks left on my Starbucks gift card, I have to support my habit.

The whole situation has really got me thinking though. A lot of people live on a lot less than me and seem to be doing just fine, maybe even better. Why is it that I feel that more is more? Yes, it is nice to go out to dinner with friends often, buy shoes, spend money without really thinking but, in the end, when the money is gone, what do you have left? Lots of things. And if my memory serves me correctly the Bible specifically tells us where to lay our treasures.

Matthew 6:19-20

[19] Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

[20] But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

Umm, yeah I definitely haven't been doing that. And, I don't mean to sound like one of those people who are suddenly closer to God when they're broke. A friend of mine B., is how shall we say, anti-religion, and thinks that the poorer people are the more they rely on religion when they should really look inside themselves for strength. Now, I can totally understand what he's saying but I can't agree because my God, the only true God, tells me to cast all of my burdens on him.

Regardless, just as my friend just said to me not five minutes ago, they're can't be a testimony without a test. So, here's to the New Year, saving money, passing tests, and becoming the women God meant for us to be.

English at Heart

2008-12-29T12:10:00.003-05:00

I'm obsessed with England. No, really- obsessed. Ask anyone who knows me and they will empathically nod their head and roll their eyes at my sad little British fantasy. I don't know what it is, or how it even started, but I love everything British. So much so that I often imitate their lovely accent- even in text messages. My signature reads: (Insert British Accent) I don't think I ever realized how crazy that was until just now.
Anyway, ultimate fantasy is to meet and fall in love with a British man (with nice teeth) move to England and have a butt load of children so they can run around calling me mummy.
And if you don't believe that British children are in fact the cutest, take a look at this.

lonely cheese

2008-12-28T21:41:00.005-05:00

So, I’ve had some time to really think over my ‘lonely’ questions and I’ve come to this conclusion---- I will never marry. (OK- that’s a little dramatic but the thought did seriously cross my mind as I lie in bed last night next to someone and felt so lonely.)

Filling your time with someone just to have someone is like going to the bathroom when your friend(s) have to go. You know you don’t have to pee yet you can’t bear to be the cheese that stands alone. And so you go, sometimes you do end up peeing and other times you just stand in front of the mirror, applying more lip-gloss which you probably don’t need, waiting for your friend(s) to exit the stall.

I don’t want to wait in the bathroom anymore. I’d rather tough it out alone then participate in superficial ‘togetherness.’ And if that means that I won’t have a warm body lying next to me for a while then I’ll deal with it, just how I’ve had to deal with other things in my life.

The cheese now stands alone.

_____________________________________________________________________
Ok- I've been mulling this over in my head for hours now. Well, if I am 100% honest with myself I have been thinking about it for years. Let me pose a question to you. The Bible says that the Lord will comfort his people and I do believe this to be true. But, what about when it's a Saturday night and you are alone yet AGAIN. Will God comfort you then and even if he does would it be the same as if an actual person were there to comfort you?

Is it wrong to fill your loneliness with someone, if they might not be the 'right' someone?

A Christmas Story and THE Christmas Story

2008-12-23T17:04:00.001-05:00

4:46 p.m. on the eve of our Christmas vacation and I am one ancy lady. Either there was much too much caffeine in my tea from Starbucks or I’m just ready to bust loose from this place. (Probably a combination of both)

The other night my roommate and I exchanged Christmas presents but before doing do so we read Luke 2. (The Christmas Story) It was nice to spend that time together really relishing in the reason why we celebrate Christmas. And so, we sat on the couch and read. No music, no TV in the background, no interruptions of a cell phone. Only the pure story was heard throughout our apartment that night as we read.

It’s moments like this where I realize the purity of our Savior and find new traditions that I want to cherish for a lifetime.

*Read the Christmas Story here.

want, need, wear, read

2008-12-19T12:36:00.004-05:00

Geez, time is truly flying. Six days left until Christmas and I still have much shopping to do. (Sad face) But, while perusing some of my favorite blogs, I must link them to you; I found the cutest idea for gift giving. I read about it first here. Granted, I don’t have the budget to do this for everyone but!, for my immediately family, thank God there are only four of us, I will attempt to do gift giving this way.

Each person gets four gifts. Something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. I’ve already completed shopping for everyone but my brother; he’s been very specific this year, so all it requires is a quick trip to Barnes & Nobel to pick up a few bargain books that I think they might like. Trust me, my budget isn’t big so for a couple of gifts, especially my dad, they will be doing double duty, (i.e. something to you want and something to wear). I plan to make a quick trip to Michael's to buy supplies to make the adorable labels.

What gifts are you purchasing or making for the holidays?

Thankful

2008-11-26T11:37:00.003-05:00

You know I love autumn. Something about the leaves falling and the weather getting cool just makes me happy…..enough said. I will choose to be content with who I am at this moment. And that is what I am thankful for.

Sex Part Two

2008-11-26T09:11:00.007-05:00

OK. So I know that was quite a post yesterday but I just wanted to be honest with what I was thinking regarding sex. And here is what I learned.

Sex is the easy part. Anyone can have sex.

Some people view sex as a physical act that feels good. But, I don't see sex as strictly a physical act. For me there has to be a connection, there has to be love behind it because if there isn't then what's the point? To strictly,
"get mine?"

You know I have to say, I'm just not that kind of woman.

Sex

2008-11-25T09:32:00.005-05:00

Sex.

Such a small with such a BIG meaning. I must say that as I write this I feel almost as if, "I'm not allowed" to talk about such things. But, God made the body and I have a body so let's talk about it.

Here is the honest truth of what I have been thinking about sex lately.

The Bible clearly states that sex before marriage, fornication is wrong. A sin.
The Bible also says that God views all sin the same way. As sin.
There isn't a bigger sin then any other sin. It's all sin.
So, if I lied to my co-worker about whether or not I had finished working on a project, or if I had sex, then it would all be seen to God the same. As sin.

Does it sound like I am justifying sex?
I'm not saying that everyone should run out immediately and have sex. I would never encourage that.
In fact I would not advise having sex until you have a full understanding of what it means and what God says about sex.

This is what I am saying in a round about way. If you just "follow the rules" of the Bible it will never become personal to you. It's not a rule book. It's God's love letter to us and we need to understand it and study and ask God to reveal things to us. If you simply abstain from sex because it's one of the rules, one day you might forget the rules and do it anyway. Trust me on that. Develop a personal relationship with God and sex won't just seem like Sex anymore.
But, I don't have all the answers. Leave a comment, let me know what you think about sex.

Hello again

2008-11-13T12:33:00.001-05:00

Well, here I am. This feels news again, I need to stretch and get back into this. As you can see I haven’t written a post in quite some time. This was due partly to A. Being Lazy B. Getting caught up in everything else C. (Most importantly) Figuring that no one even read my blog so what’s the point

Yes, I will admit it I felt very defeated. I definitely slacked off in my writing because of disappoint but let me tell you that the Bible is so true when it says: “For your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him." Matthew 6:8b.

On Monday morning I checked my email to find this.

"Hi Lisa,

My name is Cherish and i live in London, UK,

I just recently joined the women praying boldly website and i really enjoy reading your blog twenty something. You have a creative way of capturing into writing the way you feel and your walk with the Lord, i feel inspired and I am glad that the Lord is using you to be a blessing to anyone who encounters your page and its such a blessing to me.

Many thanks and much appreciation!

Cherish!”

I was shocked. Not only did someone enjoy reading my blog but they even took the time to send me an email to let me know. Talk about encouragement! And then, because my heavenly father knows me so well, the email came from London, which is perhaps my favorite place in the world. So, to sum it all up, I feel encouraged and ready to start again. Thank you Cherish for your email. You have no idea how much it has encouraged me.

Dating and Jupiter

2008-07-30T10:34:00.005-04:00

Is it just me or do you sometimes feel a little nervous when you read stories about women who are 35 and never married? (If you are 35 and never married, I mean no disrespect.) Look, I’m 23 and have been single for a couple of years but I know that the Lord has called me to marriage; I just don’t know when. So, when I hear stories about women who are 35 and single, I can’t help but wonder if that’s what the Lord has in mind for me. Don’t get me wrong, 35 is not old, but when I think about how I want to married for a couple of years and then have three children, 35 seems a little…distant. Trust me I know that 23 is young and that I still have ‘plenty of time’ but, the more articles I read about my current single status the more anxious I get. So, what is the solution? Don’t read articles about 35 year old single woman, go out and start dating away or just relax and wait on God? Geez, I know what the answer is but just because you know something doesn’t mean you always understand it.

For example, I know that Jupiter is 11 times the diameter of the Earth, but I don’t actually understand that. My mind can’t seem to wrap its arms around that fact. Even though my mind can’t quite comprehend it I still trust that it’s true.

So, instead of trying to understand exactly what God has planned for my particular love life, I will try (seriously try) to relax and wait to see what amazing things He’s going to do…

Money and Coffee

2008-07-22T10:31:00.004-04:00

Ok, so I am officially an adult. And what the means to me now is that I have a significant amount of less money. Sure, I graduated from college and landed a job which could turn into a career, but I also landed, rent, car payment, health insurance, credit card debt, and student loans. It’s OK though. I am not freaking out…well not at this very moment. At times like these I cling to Philippians 4:19 and Romans 8:28.

Not only do I find myself clinging to God’s promises more but I find that I must budget better. My finances have to be controlled and that means that some common practices have to be reevaluated.

For example, my love affair with Starbucks has been reigned in. I used to get a coffee about two or three times a week. Now, unless I have a gift card, I don’t go. But, that doesn’t mean that I have to forgo my caffeine fix. Instead I make my own iced coffees at home and bought a travel cup, with a gift card, from Target. It’s much cheaper than the $4 that I would spend on my tall, non-fat, sugar free Vanilla Latte. And, I must say that they taste pretty good. Besides, I need to put that $4 in my gas tank!

Conversations and pancakes

2008-07-18T15:49:00.004-04:00

There is something to be said about Christian women who are roommates. It’s great…not perfect, but really great. My roommate understands what struggles I go through and how much I need prayer. She doesn’t look at me funny when I am having my devotions in the morning or when I automatically hold out my hands to pray over our meals. What's really great is that she made pancakes for breakfast this morning...Thanks Renee!

I think being a Christian is awesome. I really do. I’m not saying that it’s easy but there is an amazing comfort in knowing that everything that I go through is not my battle but is the Lord’s.

Renee and I were talking about this and I had to confess that sometimes, I didn’t like that God really did control everything because I am a bit of a control…freak. (But only a little bit)

I know that God has everything under control, I really do but, sometimes I feel like I should be given the reigns every once in a while. The main area where I struggle with this is when it comes to men….Oh men how wonderful they are!

“Sometimes, I get so caught up in the statistics about men these days, especially black men, and I got to be honest; things look pretty bleak,” I said to my roommate.

“Yeah, but it’s not about what you see, it’s about what God sees.” She said it so simply that it caught me off guard.

And she was right.

Unable to see the sky

2008-07-17T08:41:00.006-04:00

My favorite passage of scripture of all time is Psalm 139. Let me tell you, those verses have got me through some hard times. When it felt like I couldn’t pray and talk to God, I read it and wouldn’t feel 100% instantaneously but would feel a sense of comfort.

Well, I read it this morning and was just reflecting on everything that I had been going through.

I have a friend that I met over two years ago at a church conference. It was one of those meetings where people were spying on us to see if they saw any sparks fly between us. Well, there weren’t any initial sparks but I was at least willing to get a match. We exchanged email addresses and he emailed me about a month after we first met.

We started on surface topics for a while but slowly the layers of self disclosure began to peel away. Things were going well and after about six months I began to wonder if he were interested in a more then friendly way…I mean you would think that after six months he would make a move! I questioned him about it and he said, “I would love to be in a relationship with you but you live in VA and I live in TN.”

To me it wasn’t an issue but I guess long distance affects us each differently. I said OK, and we continued to email each other off and on for two years. Finally, I had enough of wondering, questioning, and hoping for something to happen. After two years I was interested and I approached my pastor and his wife about the situation and they were immediately gung ho on getting me to TN and fast. I felt this burden to pray for him and thought about him often.

Anyway, to make a looong story short it worked out that one of the ladies from my church wanted to go to TN to visit her son. Enter me and the “coincidence” of it all that I was contemplating my pen pal relationship with my friend.

Off we went to TN. I did my best to not get my hopes up, to go with an open mind. Before we had even left, I spoke to him to see if he would even be available to ‘hang out.’ He agreed that he would. Ok great. So, we got there on Wednesday morning. I was ready to go to church with him that night. No phone call. Ok, well he did say that he was able to hang out on Thursday. Thursday morning I got a text saying that he would be able to hang out but not until later. Umm…OK, you know I can go with the flow. He arrived late, and when I saw him I must admit that he looked different than what I last remembered. After several minutes of where do you want to go? No, where do you want to go? (which I always find annoying) I decided that we should go to a tourist attraction that I wanted to visit and then dinner. Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time and laughed a lot but was overall disappointed with the way things had turned out. There was no spark, not even matches this time. He dropped me off back at my friends house with promises to call.

He didn’t. I was pissed.

My pride was wounded and of course, I began to question my beauty, intelligence, spiritual-ness, any and everything that encompassed who I am. It’s sad but true and I am not ashamed to admit it. I then began to question God. Why had he led me to pray for this man so earnestly, and often? Why had He worked it out so that I would be able to visit him? It felt like God had just punk’d me and I was embarrassed and angry.

After a couple of days of being angry with God, and a little crying, I ran across Psalm 63:8. I poured it out to him. I didn’t understand why he had done what he did but I knew that it was His perfect will for my life. It wasn’t an instantaneous thing either, but I eventually, little by little am finding my way back to God. I share all of this with you because perhaps you are going through some things that you don’t understand but I just want to encourage you that God has got it. His track record has proved to be perfect in my life and I know that he wouldn’t turn His back on me now, or ever.

The Struggle

2008-07-15T10:39:00.003-04:00

Can I be honest for a minute? I haven’t been feeling very spiritual lately. As a matter of fact I have been feeling betrayed by God. ( I know it sounds crazy but that is how I feel) It really is a long story and I will of course share it with you, but right now I just wanted to tell You who’s reading this how I was feeling, how I am feeling.

I don’t really understand how the Lord works and that was never really an issue for me until this past weekend. Now, I just want to know what He is thinking, what He has planed for me because I am strugglin.

Sometimes it feels as if the world caves in on us, at least for me; and I can’t see straight and my joy is zapped from me so quickly. I sit around waiting for the next big disaster. But today, as I was wallowing in my unhappiness I looked at my computer desk to find all of the scriptures that I had put up when I was spiritually stronger. A part of me wanted to tear it all down but the other part of me had to cling on to it.

“Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.” Psalm 63:8

Tears came to my eyes and I silently cried at my desk. I didn’t care if anybody walked by and saw me. I had come to the end of myself. Even though I doubted, my soul had no choice but to pour it out. Perhaps I just took the first step back.

Schooled

2008-06-12T11:50:00.004-04:00

I got schooled by an eight year old. It’s true and so sad. I was babysitting three kids that go to my church on Tuesday and we were sitting down having pizza for dinner. The radio happened to be on a Christian Radio station that I am not that fond of. Let’s just say the music is a little, ‘dull’ for my taste. Anyway, the droning of the choir on the radio was starting to get to me and so I said, “Jasmyn, can we please turn off the radio. This is so boring.”

She looked at me shocked.

“How can you say this is boring? They are singing praises to God! How can anything that has to deal with God be boring?!”

I stared at her shocked. Mumbled sorry and kept eating my pizza. Eventually I started humming along.

A time for grumpiness...

2008-06-11T09:39:00.003-04:00

OK, so this morning I woke up upset….about nothing. I wasn’t PMSing or anything, I was just pure grumpy.

Perhaps it was due mostly to the fact that we have no AC in our apartment and it’s been over 100 degrees for the past couple of days. That would make someone grumpy I presume.

Anyway, I heard a knock on the door as my roommate wanted me to help her bring in the AC unit that she got from her mom’s house. I closed my eyes and rolled over. Every single negative thought ran through my head. I looked at the clock 7:15a.m. I sighed and threw on some clothes. After a few minutes we managed to lug up the heavy AC unit. By this time it was 7:30a.m and I knew that I had to start getting ready for work. But, I also knew that I couldn’t go through the day feeling like this. All, I wanted to do was talk to my Heavenly Daddy.

I grabbed my Bible and Journal and sat in the living room and just started writing. I told Him exactly how I was feeling, how I was annoyed, hot and bothered…just so irritable. It calmed me down to be able to vent like that and have no one judge me.

You see He CREATED me so He KNOWS me. He knew exactly why I was feeling that way even though I didn’t. I then read a chapter from my devotional book about love and about how we react when we are upset and irritable. I really needed to hear that this morning and He knew it. I prayed and thanked him for His word and for His comfort. After I finished up in prayer I looked at the clock and had 15 minutes to get ready for work. I grabbed a dress quickly did my hair and ran out the door with a pop tart in hand. Even though I walked through the office doors at 8:34 instead of 8:30, those minutes that I had with the Lord this morning were priceless.

An Attempt to Show You

2008-06-10T12:10:00.003-04:00

Ok, I must confess. (Perhaps to no one in particular.) I get a little, ok a lot, discouraged when I hurriedly boot up my PC and check my blog and see 0 comments. The only time my “blog viewed” number goes up is when I check it.

“What am I doing wrong? Why isn’t anyone visiting my blog?”

These thoughts assault my mind and I get grumpy and whiny and don’t post anything for a few days, OK weeks. But, the truth is it’s not about me. This blog is about God and all of the amazing things that He does for me and everyone each day. Some articles and verses serve as a reminder of things we have known for years and others, a new thought or idea.

If no one were to ever visit or know about my blog, I think I would keep writing. It’s my way of saying to the Lord,

“I love you, and this is my attempt to show You how much.”

Thou shalt not flirt?

2008-05-16T10:34:00.007-04:00

I was perusing one of my favorite websites, www.boundless.org, this morning and found this. Apparently, it is an anthem from a Mennonite Women's college.

Yield not to flirtation
For yielding is sin.
Each sister will help you
Some brother to win.
Strive womanly onward
Dark passions subdued.
Don't chase after boys, girls,
Let them chase after you.

I laughed when I first read this. (I hope you did too, it's cute!) But then, I looked at the words. "Yield not to flirtation?" Wait a minute; flirting isn't a sin....right?
Well, according to my beloved friend, www.dictionary.com , flirting is;

"To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures. To act amorously without serious intention; play at love."

I choked on my water when I read that, literally. Is that what I'm really doing when I am casually applying lip gloss in front of a guy, when I touch a man’s arm or lean in a little closer and give him my best 'come hither' look, I am playing at love? Well, yes. (Please note that I do not actually have a ‘come hither’ look. I’m sure that it would look like I just have something in my eye.)

Anyway, I am quite sure that this is not how God intended his daughters to act towards men. We're supposed to act holy, and upright. We are to live with integrity. Something tells me that overt flirting doesn't exactly fit in with that.

To be honest, when I first started researching this, I couldn’t help but to be a little annoyed and think that ‘here’s another thing that I as a Christian woman am not supposed to do.’ But truthfully, it’s not like that; stick with me on this one.

There is no doubt it my mind that it is more than OK to smile at a man, to laugh with a man, to joke with a man and to be friends with a man. After all, the Bible tells us that in order to have friends we must be friendly. It’s when our actions become overt and sexual that problems arise. Come on ladies let’s be honest, do we really need to put on that much lip gloss, or touch his arm, shoulder or leg that much? (I’m not saying you do that….I’m just sayin’!)

What ever happened to women being more subtle, to being coy? We as women sometimes feel the need to throw ourselves at men. While throwing ourselves at them, we have missed one key factor. Men like the hunt, they enjoy the chase. They were hunters and gathers from the beginning for goodness sakes!

I’m not saying to become a bona fide "rules woman" but maintain a little mystery. I think that you will find that overt flirting is overrated.

So good...

2008-05-16T10:32:00.001-04:00

Psalm 34:8
O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

Safety and Protection

2008-05-15T08:48:00.001-04:00

Psalm 91:1-2
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God ; in him will I trust.

Above All

2008-05-14T08:56:00.000-04:00

Ephesians 3:20
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us

Wait

2008-05-12T09:23:00.000-04:00

Romans 8:25
But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

Good Courage

2008-05-09T09:43:00.003-04:00

Psalm 31:24
Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

Preserve Me

2008-05-08T12:01:00.001-04:00

Psalm 25:21
Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.

It's all Good...

2008-05-07T08:46:00.002-04:00

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.

Pour it Out

2008-05-06T12:22:00.004-04:00

Psalm 63:8
Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Letting Go

2008-04-09T23:05:00.005-04:00

“I am learning to really just give all of myself to God; to go to Him for everything that I need and want. When I am confused about things, when I need direction, when I need comforting and when I need to just cry and let it out. When I am so thankful that it brings tears to my eyes, I go to God.

I went through a period where I was really rebelling against God and to come from that to where I am now and see the change, I know that it is only by God’s grace.
I am learning to trust Him more and to cast all of my cares on him. I am learning to be more thankful. I am learning to offer myself as a sacrifice.

I am growing so much closer to my church family. Loving them and showing it by calling them, encouraging them and helping them in their time of need, reaching out to those who have been in similar situations as me.

I am learning and changing into the woman who God created me to be. Not just another girl, but a Woman who is so in love with God that she chooses to wait on Him instead of trying to figure things out on her own.

I am learning to be radiant, to let my light shine for all to see. I am learning to live by faith.
I am learning more about my ABBA father and falling in love with Him each day.”

I wrote this email to a friend four months ago and happened to run across it today. Today; where I am feeling ‘unspiritual.’ Feeling like I have made every mistake in the book more than once, more than twice even. Feelings as if, I can’t let things go; don’t want to let them go and desperately trying to figure things out on my own. Like a stubborn child who won’t give up until she gets her way, that is where I am now. I have thrown myself on the floor in yet another tantrum.

And then, I read this email. Guilt and shame engulf me. How have I moved so much? When did I move? I used to give my problems over to God and now, I hold onto to them as if they were precious diamonds. More importantly, now that I am so far away how do I get back to that place of peace? How do I become that woman who wrote those words so passionately just months ago? Where do I turn?

‘You turn back to Me.’

I hear it so quietly. And I know that He is right. I must let it go. I must.

It is so easy, for us as women, to try to solve problems, to help out and fix things. That is essentially how God designed us. But when it is required of us to relinquish all control, we struggle, we fight. We are ‘unsure.’

I will never pretend that I have all of the answers. Even if I did put on that ‘know it all’ façade you would know the truth. What I do know is that I have hope. I was that passionate woman who wrote that email. I was that woman who let God rule her life.

I must let go.

I'm so excited

2008-04-02T10:36:00.007-04:00

Welcome, welcome, welcome. This is my first official post to 'twenty-something' radiant Christian Women and I couldn't be more excited!

It has taken a lot to get here. A lot of brainstorming, headaches, resources, encouragement and prayer.

I hope that this blog will encourage you to live your faith daily, to take action, and to live with passion. Passion that the Lord has given you to accomplish His plan and will for your life.

It is also my prayer that this blog will become a resource for you to get encouraged, laugh, learn and get in touch with other 'twenty-something' women. Please, share your ideas feelings and beliefs without hesitation. {We are here to encourage not discourage.}

*Feel free to email me with any questions that you might have. I love getting mail!