I'm not a virgin. I'm not ashamed or proud to say it. It's just a fact. Anyway, during my last relationship, sex did play a role. Well, as you know that relationship did not work out. While we were together I was on birth control and we always practiced safe sex. Anyway, I recently came off of BC and didn't really think anything of it, until last night, rather this morning, at 3am I shot up in bed and realized that I never had a period in February.
Freaked out, doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I lied back down in my bed, but my mind was racing and I knew that sleep at that stage was pointless. I dragged myself out of bed, put on sweats and boots, because it was sleeting outside and drove to Walgreens to get a pregnancy test.
I wasn't embarrassed that I was buying a pregnancy test at 3am. No, embarrassment didn't hit me until I left the store, went back to my car and realized that I still had zit cream on my face that I had applied night before. Sexy, I know.
Anyway, I went home and chugged some Crystal Light to, you know speed along the process, did the deed, and then waited. I put in a DVD of friends to distract myself. Five minutes later, I went into the bathroom and saw that the test was negative. Thank God. I still felt uneasy though because I still hadn't gotten a period, but I was able to get to sleep that night.
My point is, that if I was never having sex in the first place then I would never had to have gone through all of that. The nerves, the sweating, the loss of sleep, the "I swear God, I will never have sex again, if you let me be not pregnant" thoughts. I mean, it's kind of ridiculous and it has become very clear to me that God, doesn't want us to not have sex until marriage because, He wants us to miss out on the 'fun'. (And I say 'fun' because let me tell you, if you have the Holy Spirit in you, the after effect of guilt and shame of fornication, doesn't make for an all around pleasurable experience.)
He tells us these things because he doesn't want his daughters to have wake up in the middle of the night worried about being pregnant, or worry about STD's, or have our hearts broken and the bitter icing on the top is that we gave it up to someone who 'loved us.' More than speaking on sex, the Bible talks about protecting our hearts. OUR HEARTS. He knows that sex to many woman, especially Christian women, is more than just a physical act. It's a connection, it's a moment where true one-ness is achieved.
So, I say all of that to tell you that:
A. I won't be having sex again until I'm married
B. Yes, I realize just how difficult that is going to be
C. I am seriously going to need help with this
D. Perhaps you should consider doing the same
The choice is so clearly yours. I'm just giving you my two cents
*By the way, I would like to happily report that I got my period.
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